Hey! Sorry I missed you. It’s been a while.
How are you? I’m doing okay. For the first time in a long time.
"I AM NOT OKAY."
Was the first thing I said after I exploded my ankle. Yes that's actually the proper term, my surgeon agrees it's way cooler than "trimalleolar fracture".
As you know after surgery I was bed ridden for 2 months before I could begin physical therapy. During which time I couldn't use my left leg at all which you can imagine is quite the wrench in my day as some who prefers to walk with two.
When I started I couldn't even bear the site of my own foot, never mind moving or touching that part of my body. It took 5 weeks of physical therapy to relearn how to stand on my own two feet.
8 weeks to relearn how to walk.
12 weeks until I could stop using crutches.
16 weeks until I no longer needed a cane.
Now I’m 7 months post-op and it’s here.
Every single day I have thought about this very moment. Now it's finally here and I feel emotionally unprepared. When Brad (my physical therapist) turned to me and said
"You can get back to skating now,"
My brain couldn't even process what he just said all I know is that he ended with
"But be careful, don’t do anything too risky."
The rest of the appointment all I could think about was leaving to put my skates on. So as soon as I got home, I didn't even shower, still sweating, I grabbed my skates and walked out the door.
I arrived to the park on an unseasonably beautiful day in March. It was sunny and in the mid 60s. The park was jammed with people who were eager to see the sun before it sequesters away until July (when Portland summer truly starts). I managed to snag a bench but it was at the center of the park and awkwardly in close view of a couple laying together on the grass.
I couldn't tell if everyone had eyes on me waiting for me to fall or if it was just my anxiety. Probably the latter, but as I lace up my skates I realize my heart is thumping in my chest. It's beat pulsing like the build up of an EDM song as I start contemplating if doing this was a terrible idea.
Is this too risky? Am I ready?
Brad said "Be careful" not "leave here and instantly go skating." A Viking drum is echoing through my ribcage as I tie my last bow. And just as soon as it's time to go my legs are frozen with fear. I sat there staring at my 8 wheels, people's eyes burning into the back of my head since I was probably taking up the best bench in the park to have a private panic attack but I realized I have two options. I either stand up and skate, or I go home and sulk. If I skate there's a good chance I'll fall and everyone in the park will see (or it will at least feel that way) but that's the thing about playing. There's always a bit of risk involved.
The next thing that happened blew my fucking mind. I took a deep breath…
inhale, I stood up,
“I am okay.”
exhale, I skated.
Within minutes I was moonwalking and spinning just like I did 8 months ago before I became a cyborg. I cruised around the park trail, wind in my hair, sun kissing my skin, and suddenly tears started welling in my eyes. 7 months I had dreamed of this moment. Everything I have gone through, each sleepless night and every tidal wave of emotion was finally rewarding me with this bliss.
To the average park goer I must've seemed like a smelly emotional woman on roller skates and honestly, I was, but I couldn't have been happier about it. I only skated for 2 minutes but those few moments meant the world. Those people from the park don't know it but they played a significant part in this core memory for me, and for that I thank them. Thanks for playing.
Play and risk in marketing
When you play there's the risk that the other party doesn't want to play back. When that happens the connection is missed and the tension can be palpable. Play also must go both ways, people want to play with you, not have you play at their expense and absolutely nobody likes to feel dumb or not in on the joke. That's why prank posts on social media can often fall flat.
Marketers assume everyone’s looking to play, and that couldn’t be further from the truth. When entering a potential relationship (transactional or not) people are risking something with that interaction. When trying to connect with others we need to ask ourselves:
What are peopling risking to play with me? Am I asking them to risk their money? Their time? Their attention?
Understanding the risks is what clears the path towards connection by removing barriers, addressing hesitations and building trust. Showing that you understand lets the other party know “Hey, I get it.”
Curiosity > Risk > Explore > Reward
Even before the risk there has to be the curiosity to be involved. That couple laying in the grass could’ve glared at me for blocking their sun but they didn’t. They smiled and politely stared.
People say “You gotta risk it for the biscuit” but what makes risk so inherently rewarding anyways? Those who are open to risk are done evaluating, fully ready invest their resources or attention but there’s more exploring to be done before reaping a reward of resonance and eventually connection. So maybe our meaningful relationships model looks something more like this instead:
What do you think?
I want to know what makes someone curious. I want to know how to get people to stand up and blow their own fucking minds with what they're capable of. What does it take for people to see you and think “I am okay.”
On that note I should get going, I hope to hear from you soon. You always give the best advice.
Til next time, byeee!
Risky Business | Sorry I Missed You (18)