Nothing against you I'm just in a weird mood, a bad mood I guess, which happens more than I'd like to admit these days.
Lately even productive tasks bring me no joy. When you're stressed, do you do productive shit just to make yourself feel better or is that just me?
Regardless, I've been thinking a lot about that question:
How do we become memorable?
And I keep finding myself thinking back to the day of my accident and how suspiciously perfect the day started.
I should've known.
I had taken the day off to go to the Oregon coast with my friends Peace and Brooke. We planned to go to that beach where The Goonies was filmed? You know the one with the big rocks? And we wanted to hit a few skateparks along the way.
It wasn't until we were about 2 hours away from home did I finally feel disconnected from the consistent pull of corporate productivity. Even when you take days off, capitalism does not, and it will always find ways to remind you.
But luckily for me the weather was an exceptional distraction. Sun was shining and the Tillamook forest trees were smiling down on us.
I remember sitting in the backseat of my friend's Prius with all the windows open and my eyes closed to heighten my senses and fully breathe in the moment.
The ocean smell seeping through the evergreens as we drove closer to the coast, almost tricking me into thinking I'm home.
Before I knew it we arrived at our highlight destination of the day, Pacific City Skatepark.
We were immediately impressed by the variety of obstacles and kitschy nautical theme: there's even a bowl with a tunnel painted like a wave that totally makes you feel like you're surfing concrete, it's pretty fucking rad.
But the best part was that we had the park all to ourselves, a true skaters paradise.
But in one swift moment, after hours of perfect ones, everything went awful.
It was like the lights were shut off and everything about my body and existence was a dark abyss of confusion and pain.
In one swift moment I realized my body, and my life would be changed forever. And the thought of that much change happening hit me like a tsunami wave of anxiety and fear.
What will this do to me?
The 35 minute ride to the hospital in my friend's Prius was annoyingly beautiful.
We passed crashing waves and hundreds of people enjoying their days at the beach, blissfully ignorant to the fact that in one swift moment everything can change for the worse.
I was so angry at them. How dare they.
But really I was most angry at myself.
Why didn't I see the sand?
Why didn't I catch myself?
Why is this happening to me?
I should've known.
The rest of that day is a painful mirage of helpful strangers and friends, slowly welcoming me to my new life I was not at all happy to take on.
In the beginning weeks I was in pure denial. I thought my life would simply go back to normal since I could still do my job from a laptop on the couch.
It quickly became apparent that I had hyper productivity focused expectations of myself that were no longer sustainable, and maybe never were sustainable to begin with.
If I wasn't giving it 150% it felt like I was under performing. Not just in work, but in every aspect of my life. And now I was failing at all of them.
In the "before times" I coped with these heavy expectations instead of leveling them.
But now these expectations only made my new life fit worse, like a spandex leotard over khaki cargo shorts (not cute).
It took me hitting a very low point but it became clear that if I was going to get well I needed to heal not only my body, but my mind and the first thing on the list was my productivity gremlin.
Getting to this point has made me stop and think: how am I living each day?
Little things like taking a shower used to feel like a chore, now they're a treat.
I've given productivity a new meaning.
Instead of a "to do" list I make a "get to do" list every day and try to keep it to 5 or less things (my goal is 3 but I can't help it, I love to make lists!)
But this mindset shift makes me think about what I'm grateful for each day rather than what I "should" be doing to "level up" my home, life, career etc.
Now, productivity isn't my only source of fulfillment.
And when I think back to the day of my accident, me hyperventilating on the concrete, fear struck into my shattered bones and ligaments, all I think is that…
I should've known.
As I sat there, pissed-the-fuck-off at the sunny seaside paradise just out of reach on the way to the hospital…
I should've known.
That this was going to make me grow in ways I never thought would be possible.
I should've known.
How much good can come from something that causes us so much pain.
I should've known.
How much I'd learn to appreciate the little things, like taking a shower or standing on two feet.
I should've known.
How much support I'd feel from people I didn't even realize held so much love for me.
I should've known.
How much I'd learn about myself along this windy road to recovery.
But what I *really* wish I could tell myself that day is that every sob in the shower, every restless night and angry morning, every smile, every laugh, every good view or even the bad, every single moment even the ones that don't feel productive...
they're worth it.
It's all worth it.
I don't even really know why I'm calling you about this, I guess it's something I need to say out loud for myself more than anything.
But you know why it's worth it?
Because emotions are universal.
Memories are personal but the feelings they give us can connect us to others by transcending language, time and space.
Want to be memorable?
Make them remember.
How do you make them remember?
Make it worth it.
To put it in marketer speak I’ve been thinking about this memory framework...
“How to be memorable” (WIP)
Intro hook - Put me there, inside a memory, paint the picture.
The point - Focus on the feeling, emotions are what make stories universal.
Takeaway - Make the journey worth it, why did the listener spend time to hear you? what can the listener take with them into their life?
I need to flesh this out more but I think I'm on to something here. Let me know what you think.
Sorry if this call got a little dark, not all core memories are happy ones. Although it is perfect timing with it being Halloween and all 🎃
Keep me posted on your core memory stories, good or bad I want to hear them! Maybe it will help me figure out this memory framework a little more.
Anyways I'll stop rambling now so I can go find a tissue and prepare for the trick or treaters.
Okay byeee!
Or should I say bOoOo👻
Worth It | Sorry I Missed You (13)