You ever regret not doing something when you had the chance?
I never want to live my life that way.
But it did almost happen to me recently when I was on a girls trip to Tennessee for my bachelorette.
Yes, we went to Dollywood.
And YES, it was INCREDIBLE.
But before that we went out to a line-dancing bar for our big night out. I know I don’t usually bore you with my fashion choices but this outfit was A MOMENT🌟. My friends bought me this adorable white overalls skort thing, a cowboy hat with a veil, and they even got us these cute bandanas to wear. It was a hoot n’ a holler!🤠
As the bar was shutting down around 12:30am we found *it*. It was sitting there the entire time and we almost missed it. We had already called our Uber to leave, but this was an opportunity I had been waiting for.
An opportunity I didn’t know I’d get anywhere else.
Obviously, I’m talking about the mechanical bull.🐂
So the clock is ticking as our Uber driver Jeremy (who we learned is really into conspiracy theories) gets closer and closer. There were already 2 people in line so getting in now would be kinda 😅 cutting it close but I really wanted to do it.
But then like what do I say,
“Sorry Jeremy BRB riding a bull lol”
I stood there watching and contemplating.
Jeremy’s car icon inching closer and closer.
And the more I sat there debating whether or not it was worth getting my white outfit dirty or slightly inconvenience someone I realized that…
Years from now am I going to care about either of those things?
Or will I just remember the regret?
So minutes before Jeremy’s arrival my friend Val grabs my hand, looks me in the eye and says:
“CORE MEMORY”
Then you know what we did?
We rode 👏 that 👏 damn 👏 bull!👏
My outfit got dirty, Jeremy had plenty of time to share his conspiracies with us and I have zero regrets. I do feel like I have a fun hangover though. And not necessarily from the alcohol although that is a known accelerator 😄 but you know that feeling you get after experiencing a moment so perfect, it makes you wish you had a photographic memory to relive it again exactly how it happened?
(Sigh)
I wish I could replay those memories on loop like a VHS tape, or should I say a TikTok so I sound less old and more technologically accurate? This got me thinking…
How do our brains make memories?
Flashbulb memories
On my flight home from Tennessee 🛫 I was reading this article that talked about how our brains make different types of memories. When I think about my own core memories, like riding the bull, I often imagine myself in a movie style 🎬 flashback of that experience. But the scientist in this article suggested that most people have what they call “flashbulb memories” 📸 of where they were when something memorable happens to them. And against all movie depictions, a flashbulb memory doesn’t actually indicate a good memory, or even an accurate one.
I learned that as clear as flashbulb/flashback memories feel, experts find them to be widely inaccurate when retold later on. Since these memories are often on replay 🔁 in conversations we have and in our own heads, it’s easy for other people’s stories to meld into our own retellings. They said it’s especially true when it comes to global events where there’s media coverage.
Do you think social media will impact our memories for better or worse in this way?
Ripple Effects of Remembering
Anyways, the point of the article was that some other dudes think the very act of remembering can alter a memory. They think that by recalling a memory over and over again it forces the brain to reform neuron proteins and connections (sorta like forming a new memory) which leaves room for things to get messed up.
At first this seems scary 😱, not being able to control your own memories? Details fading with each replay? No thanks!!❌❌❌ That might actually be my biggest fear. I guess memories are more like video tapes 📼 than I thought. Like that Lilo and Stitch tape we watched at every sleepover before bed that eventually stopped working.
How do we build long-lasting memories?
Multitude of mini memories > fewer big memories
A positive spin 🌀 on this from the article was that this research could be beneficial for treating people with PTSD. Which is pretty cool right? That got me wondering, if scientists can continue to understand how the brain makes and alters memories can we do it for ourselves too? 🤔
Can we look to our collective memories to understand the world more holistically and form deeper connections? Or even in our day to day lives, can we find opportunities to create more core memories? 💡 Maybe the name of the game is multitude of mini memories instead of having a fewer notable ones. Having more memories to call upon should make up for any lost or forgotten details right? I feel like that checks out when I think about that connection cycle we’ve talked about. You know, you need a few runs between play —> connection before you get to belonging in any relationship, just like when making something memorable.
It’s less about a person or brand doing one big thing for attention and instead it’s about making more mini memories that build influence towards being memorable. From here on out I’m going to try to make more mini memories.
Creative Blob
Hire me for creative services
Speaking of doing new things, I started freelancing full time under my own services business called Creative Blob (it’s me I’m the blob) 😁. I got that official LLC and everything!! You’re looking at a real business bitch!! Well not looking, I guess listening to, but you get my point.
For the longest time I was afraid to start my own business. It just felt like something I could watch other people do, but I didn’t think I could do it.
And at this point in my life I don’t want to be afraid.
I don’t want to not do things and then regret it later.
I want to be confident.
I want to get dirty and not just do whatever’s most convenient.
I want to ride that bull.
I should stop rambling at you now but I had a lot to say since we last talked. Sorry I missed you last month too, this new business + wedding stuff has been quite a doozy but I always appreciate hearing from you. Thanks for listening to me 💖.
We’ll again talk soon, okay byeeee!
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