I feel so dumb.
I got into the shower the other day but I left the bathroom door open so that Noodle could come and go.
I was home alone and if I don’t leave the door open he runs around making these crazy wild boar noises you wouldn’t believe come from a cat.
We assume he does this because he’s warding off evil spirits or starting a metal band we don’t really know.
So I leave the door cracked, Noodle is working the door as bouncer, only slightly annoyed I crashed his rehearsal.
I step into the shower, queue your regular shower programming. I close my eyes to rinse out my shampoo when I suddenly hear a man’s voice coming from my living room.
It doesn’t sound like my husband. So I yell out…
“JAMES?”
The voice keeps talking to someone else, not responding to me.
Every horror movie instinct in my body is fully aware how vulnerable I am in this situation. It’s at this moment I realize my phone is on the coffee table (in the living room with the voice).
My eyes shift to my razor, could that be a self defense weapon? Maybe shampoo in the eyes seems like a more realistic attack?
I leave the shower running, hoping that will give me time to throw on my dirty clothes and plan mine and Noodle’s grand escape.
As I step out of the shower the voice goes silent.
…
I swear my heart froze between beats.
…
Then that song by Sabrina Carpenter started playing.
Odd choice for a serial killer right?
Nope — Just this clock I have deciding to play the radio completely unprompted. Meanwhile here I am, ready to assault someone with my shampoo.
Embarrassingly, I can’t figure out how to get it to stop. It keeps sporadically BLASTING the radio at full-fucking volume no matter what settings we use. Before you ask, YES, I looked up guides online on how to fix it, no success.
I’m convinced it’s haunted. Noodle’s seances haven’t been working, band practice is getting in the way.
This has me questioning why I still have this dumb thing in the first place. I can’t remember the last time I used the radio in my car, let alone on the alarm clock I bought in 2008.
This brand should be more explicit on their products: anti-ghost warranty only lasts for 5 years.
Even as a happy customer for 7+ years I probably won’t recommend this possessed clock to anyone else. Who has money for an exorcism in this economy?
Truthfully, I prefer to think this clock is apparitional rather than let it make me feel like an idiot for not understanding the user manual.
Companies should realize nobody wants to feel dumb, confused, or out of place. But for some reason businesses rarely prioritize how much emotions play into buying or re-buying decisions. They totally ignore the fact that…
Business is emotional
Anyone who disagrees is only doing a disservice to themselves and those they communicate with. People don’t make decisions on pure recognition alone, they choose their action based on trust.
We need people to trust us and feel connected to our ideas for them to buy into them, that’s why businesses need belonging.
Building a sense of belonging is the best investment any business can make, because feeling like you belong, or that something belongs to you, makes someone feel empowered to take action.
Long story short, we need to put more effort into getting people to self select into the chosen action rather than flooding every tangible surface with ads.
Thinking about my favorite brands - I wonder what’s one thing they do that makes me feel like I belong, and how can I apply that to my own work? It’s as they always say…
We are the company we keep
And I couldn’t agree more. We all seek identity in the people and world around us. A person shares something because whatever it was aligned with their identity making them feel like they belong (or don’t belong in a negative case scenario).
Imagine making something and having it excite someone so much that they tell a friend about it.
Isn’t that a marketer’s dream come true ✨
The more we understand people’s motivations, challenges and emotional triggers the easier it will be to create a connection and make something worth belonging to. Now let me be clear…
I’m not trying to build a cult!
There’s a difference between caring for someone and possessing them. The point of belonging is not that building followers = people belong to you
Again, we’re not trying to start a cult here.
It’s that by getting people to feel like they are in the right place, they feel ownership and affinity for the space and want to bring their friends with them.
I’m trying to think of one way I can empower my audience to feel ownership of my brand this week — maybe it’s asking for their input on a new project, or starting a conversation on LinkedIn? What should I try? Whatever it is I was thinking…
Shared ownership → Belonging → Community
By allowing people to have ownership you empower others to become champions of your idea causing it to grow by word of mouth ($FREE.99) which every budget can appreciate.
Again, this is sounding very cult-like and we all love a matching t-shirt moment but control is not the goal here, building trust at scale is.
Once you have a group of people with shared belonging you start to see authentic community take form. Community can only happen after a layer of trust is built between both parties.
You can’t jump straight into community without giving people a reason to have shared goals and ownership first.
Not to mention if the connection attempt is only coming from one side it can read as out of touch or even worse, desperate.
That’s why you see communities fall flat, because some well-intentioned marketing team labeled a Slack group “#Designers” and promoted it to the world but forgot to build trust with designers first.
Why would a designer join a group when nobody is there to vouch for it? You might as well just roll up in an white van and offer them candy and Warby Parker glasses.
It’s as sketchy and obnoxious as my possessed alarm clock. Speaking of my breakup with that damn thing, realizing I’ve had it for so long and that I’m now eager to banish it completely from my life makes me think about…
The Lifecycle of Brand Affinity
Affinity comes after someone has purchased and they’re telling their friends if they’ll buy again. That’s a much longer lifecycle than just getting them to purchase in the first place.
Take my clock for example, I’m ready to break ties after 7 great years together.
It’s not you, its’…well no it is you. This clock has got to GTFO of my life.
But companies forget that brand affinity is influential YEARS after purchase. Look at me, I’ll never recommend that brand of electronics again.
The true customer lifecycle is thinking about how to make them a forever champion. It takes a long lasting sense of belonging that builds trust and a positive reputation over time. Easier said than done of course but to me…
Brand affinity looks like
Direct Referrals
Good Reviews
Repeat Purchases
Tags/Mentions Online
Self-Led Fandoms (i.e. SubReddits or Instagram pages started by fans)
A funny example
American Girl Doll. I’m almost 30 and they’ve had me wanting one of those bougie bitches my entire life!!
People of all ages love American Girl Dolls so much that on Instagram there’s meme accounts like @modernamericangirldolls that show their appreciation for both the initial brand lore fused with recent pop culture.
The page has undoubtedly resurged people’s love of the American Girl Doll brand, with the American Girl Doll café becoming a trending topic on TikTok.
This new wave of brand love was completely started and operated by fans. Seeing grown adults take their childhood toys to brunch, that is brand affinity in action.
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How do you improve brand loyalty?
Maybe you feel pressure to hit short-term metrics, but building belonging takes time. The best thing you can do is just start, once you do it will come to you easier than you think.
Be a good friend: You need to actually give a fuck about your audience. When you do something think - would I treat my friend this way or send them this? Our friends already have a bias towards us, if they aren’t listening nobody else will either. And be real, no one spams their friends with AI messages on LinkedIn, so why should you?
Be empathetic: Understand what competing priorities people have that don’t involve you at all. Nobody likes someone who thinks they’re the center of the universe. The more empathetic you are to their circumstances, the more likely you are to connect. Once you understand them and their problems, you’re able to align your shared goals or call to action better with that context.
Be intentional: Consider the person’s emotions at each point of the journey, before, during, and after the interaction. Think about what would make someone recommend this long after they’ve found value from it. At what points in the journey are they feeling happy and accomplished? Creating these moments of delight will make someone more likely to engage and tell a friend.
I know that’s somewhat vague advice but that itself is intentional. There is no one tactic that works for every audience, even within a specific niche like B2B software.
The smartest people I know are creative problem solvers, not solution slingers.
And that’s no hate towards people in sales, marketers are just as if not more guilty of solution slinging than they are.
I know a good amount people in sales who use their empathy as a superpower for the greater good. But I can’t be the only one sick of this emotionless marketing ads-on-everything approach right?
This has me thinking, what’s one thing we could change about how we communicate this month? Let me know what you’re going to try out — I’d love to know!
Before I go I wanted to share some…
Life Updates
🚨 I have a new name: Don’t worry, I kept the first one. But my last name has gotten an upgrade because I got MARRIED on the 21st night of September 🎶 (I hope you sang it like I did). My name is now Megan Dalessandro, but you can still call me Meg. The whole wedding weekend was a dream come true and our 2 weeks in Japan made for the honeymoon of a lifetime. Too many core memories to count!
🎵 Happy Songs for Horror Movies Playlist: This one of my favorite playlists I’ve ever made. It’s grown a bit since the last time we talked about it, keep me posted on what songs you would add! When I fulfill my lifelong dream of making an epic horror comedy film this will come in handy.
🤩 I landed my dream job: Anyone who has worked with me the last 6 years would know that my passion for video marketing has led me to the most creative projects and best teams but there was one company I always swooned for, and getting a job there was something I joked about manifesting for years. I’ll save that story for next time though. For now I’m taking it slow, basking in the new job glow.
I’ll let you go now and I promise to call more often next year. One of my biggest goals in life is to create places that make people feel like they belong, and being here calling you, is one of the few places where I really feel that. I hope you find your space too, just know you’re always welcome here.
Okay I’ll let you go now FOR REALL, talk to you again in the new year🥂
Byeeee!
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