I’m standing here at the kitchen window doing the dishes and outside I can see the sun is cascading through the trees in my backyard, it looks so beautiful.
To be honest though, this nice weather isn’t doing it for me this year.
Normally when the sun comes out I'm like Natasha Bedingfield, a pocket full of sunshine! But this year it’s just different.
It’s like the weather is telling me to lighten up but I can’t shake these weird winter blues.
Why does it seem worse to feel bad when the weather is good?
I think it’s because no one likes being told how to feel.
These damn blossoms and butterflies think they can show up and tell MY mental illness to take a vacation?
All the summer sales events think they can convince ME that everything is going to be okay???
Fuck you sun 🖕 you won't tell me how to feel! You can’t manipulate me with your powerful rays!!!
Anyways the reason I called you was because I-
Oh my GOD.
Hold on.
JAMES COME HERE AND LOOK AT THIS!
Eww! ugh.
Sorry one sec.
Okay, I’m back. So last time I ran into you I told you about that annoying ant problem we were having, WELL, guess who decided to move in today 🙃
A SLUG.
I mean I do feel bad for the guy, he slithered all the way inside only to end up in the saltiest place of the home.
Blegh! (shivers) So nasty. Thankfully James is going to take care of that…but what was I saying 🤔 I don’t remember. It will come back to me.
You know what else is gross that people don’t like to talk about? Marketing.
Unexpected and slimy🦠
Like one of those weird sticky substances you're not sure where it came from but you're sure you don't want to find out.
I mean you rarely hear "That's marketing for you" in a positive affirmation kind of way and truthfully, I avoid marketing titles even though it's like half of what I do for my job.
Why is marketing gross and does it have to be?
Marketing is gross because it is one of the most honest forms of mass manipulation that's widely accepted.
I feel like-MWAHAHA.
But evil laughing aside, I specifically think of that one movie where the guy puts on a magic pair of sunglasses that shows him how corrupt the world around him is.
Long story short he thrifted these sick shades but when he tries them on he realizes the billboards and magazines around him look different.
Without the glasses they're normal advertisements for things like computers and Caribbean vacations, but with the glasses ON they say commands like "OBEY" and "MARRY AND REPRODUCE". He keeps walking and sees store signs just say "CONSUME".
The plot unfolds that the media and the government are skull-faced aliens promoting subliminal messages through marketing tactics to help them achieve world domination! DUN DUNNN DUNNNNN!
After this mindfuck of a discovery, in true sci-fi horror fashion the protagonist fights to free humanity from the mind-controlling aliens and wins with the utmost badassery to your favorite 80s rock ballads.
I’m telling you this because I feel like marketers are seen as the skull-faced aliens hell bent on manipulating the world to "buy the thing!".
In a world surrounded by ads and options invading every avenue of our personal and professional lives, consumers view marketing as something to fight against. The evil forces that be!⚔️
What they don't think of as marketing are the positive affects, like when a slogan from a commercial makes its way into an inside joke with your friends. Or when someone sees a specific type of soda and thinks of you.
Marketing actually isn't gross by nature, only when it's in an inconsiderate, unnatural place, like that dumbass slug on my kitchen floor.
Which reminds me, what I was really calling you about was to tell you about this masterclass I went to early this week. During the Q&A I asked the moderators:
How do you treat vulnerability at scale?
Does broadcasting vulnerability make it less authentic/special?
How do we talk about vulnerability so it's not seen as gross manipulation?
Jay (one of the moderators) slowed me down and asked…
“Well… what is vulnerability?”
In which I sort of blacked out, but I said something like:
“Sharing personal thoughts/feelings or stories that aren't knowingly accepted or appreciated. Accepting that risk factor.”
Then he said something that sort of blew my mind 🤯 (classic Jay). I’m paraphrasing but he said something to the effect of:
Manipulation isn't always a bad thing. Think about your favorite teachers and creators.
They manipulate you but for good reasons. They bring you on a journey through emotions as your guide which is manipulating the way you think but it's to share a lesson for your gain, not theirs.
In the discussion we related it back to the importance of how and when you're vulnerable which reminded me a lot of that emotional rollercoaster we talked about a little while ago!
Scaling Vulnerability
The more I think about it, I’ve talked about scaling vulnerability as a concept in numerous ways over the past few years, but anytime I've called it by that name or talk about "personal branding" people get this icky feeling. And I don’t blame them because I sorta do too. Similar to how I feel about marketing.
We say to ourselves:
"If I think about scaling vulnerability or what my personal brand is that seems inauthentic and manipulative."
And in a way yes, it is. You are manipulating how you choose to present yourself to different audiences. But is that bad or inauthentic?
Honestly, I don't think so because we're human (not skull-faced aliens 💀👽).
Marketing aside – how I'm vulnerable with my friends is completely different than how I am vulnerable with my coworkers, and definitely with strangers.
I connect with each of these audiences in a variety of ways and adjust my communication style based on both my preferences and theirs.
Like I'm not going to open up about how I got my first period to my boss but that might be relevant for my friends or even oddly appropriate for strangers in the right context.
That's the thing about scaling vulnerability, it's not about broadcasting your life's most personal details or gatekeeping information.
It's about using the stories and experiences in our lives to embrace ourselves for who we are, and allowing that to connects us to others.
My definition of scaling vulnerability focuses less on manipulating others perception of you, and more on infusing an honest piece of you into every way you communicate.
Now, easier said than done.
When thinking about my own personal brand I've struggled a lot with this feeling of being "taken seriously" in my career (in case you couldn't guess that from the fire engine red hair and Lego earrings). Unfortunately this has led to plentiful amounts of imposter syndrome and self-inflicted restrictions on my career.
🙈 I’m not a “marketer”, I didn’t go to “marketing school”.
🙈 I’m not an “expert in personal branding” because everywhere I see selling that advice is kinda gross.
But that doesn’t mean I can’t be a marketer or that I have to be gross.
I realized it's not about fitting myself into some category or dulling myself down to make me seem more "palatable", it's about figuring out what gets people excited to communicate.
Instead of
"What do I keep from them or dull down to be taken seriously?"
it's
"What part of me resonates most?"
That way it doesn't feel like I'm compromising my authenticity or manipulating someone's perception of me, I'm just communicating authentically and effectively.
If we all did this I think we’d drive more meaningful connections and all live richer, more authentic lives.
No one likes being told how to feel, just like they don't like being told to BUY NOW! or CONSUME!
Scaling vulnerability isn't about manipulating them, it's about how you embrace pieces of yourself to connect more authentically with others.
Does that make sense? Am I gross?
I'll keep you posted on the slug situation. Talk to you later.
Alright, bye!
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