I had to call you because this moment recently made Oregon surprisingly feel like the East Coast.
Like before I could stop it, I could feel my throat get tight in that annoying
“dear god do not cry in public”
kind of way.
We were in this cozy Italian restaurant. Warm lights, classic red checkered table cloths, plastic grapes dangling from walls and various vases.
It’s the type of place where the smell of garlic and red sauce hits you like a steam sauna as you walk in, which was perfect because we were there at the start of winter.
As we navigate through this maze of tables through multiple rooms, we see parties big and small, young and old, all caught up in their own little quiet conversations.
Then we sat down and something in the room shifted.
People started looking up at the same time. Heads were turning and it felt like the room knew something was about to happen before we did.
That’s when I heard this long droning sound off in the distance.
Not background music playing from a speaker.
Live music!
Like a pipe organ just exhaled.
At first I couldn’t even see where it was coming from. I just heard it getting closer and closer, like someone was walking right up to our table.
And then I saw him.
An accordion player wearing a Santa hat (and white beard to match).
At this point I had about three seconds to think,
This is either going to be so charming or I’m going to want to crawl under the table.
Then he hit the first few notes of a song that has no business making me emotional every single time.
Sweet Caroline.
You already know that song gets me in my feels!! It’s not even the song itself, I don’t think. It’s what it represents. This shared thing. The feeling of being in a room where everyone already knows the words.
And hearing it here, in a new place, with a room full of strangers smiling and singing along like we all shared one big hometown, it made me feel at home in a way I didn’t expect.
Like I didn’t have to earn my spot in the room.
Moments like this make me grieve for a past version of myself who didn’t have what I have now. Who was showing up to life every day like “fitting in” was a pass / fail pop quiz and I want to grab her by the shoulders and tell her:
You’re going to make it.
You’ve got everything you need.
You’re already more at home than you think.
But that’s the thing about “home”.
I used to think home was a place.
Or a milestone.
Or something you arrive at.
But I’m starting to think home is actually much simpler than that. To me…
Home is the version of ourselves that shows up when we stop auditioning.
And I think I’ve been confusing two things that look similar from far away.
I don’t think belonging is something we stumble into.
I think it’s something we practice.
In the way we show up.
In the way we make space for other people.
In the way we signal “You don’t have to audition here.”
Belonging is something we can create.
For ourselves.
For other people.
Even for strangers in a room.
We just have to know what we’re actually aiming for.
Being welcomed vs being expected
Welcomed is: “come in, glad you’re here”
Expected is: “of course you’re here! This only makes sense with you in it.”
The only downside to feeling welcomed is it can still make you feel like you have to earn your spot.
Being welcomed isn’t enough to feel like you belong.
Whereas being expected feels like your spot was already set in stone without question.
It’s reassuring, comforting, and rare.
It’s the same with feeling included vs feeling known.
Included is: “you can sit with us”
Known is: “we saved your seat”
I think of being included as like a door being opened for you.
Where being known is like a door you’re lucky enough to have the key to, you’re expected there.
Home is usually the places where I feel known and expected.
Where there’s no question that I belong.
Where I’m not bracing for the impact of my personality ruffling someone’s feathers.
Where I’m not scanning for rules I might accidentally break.
Where I don’t have to shrink my feelings into something convenient for everyone else.
So lately I’ve been spending time in places that make me feel at home
Besides my new favorite Italian restaurant…
I feel that similar “home” feeling when I go to the movies
Recently James and I went to a prescreening of this indie comedy film Nirvanna The Band The Show The Movie.
It’s one of my favorite web series turned TV show turned movie and it was easily the hardest I’ve laughed in a theater in ages.
The premise is this band called “Nirvanna The Band” (yes, with two N’s to avoid copyright) has been trying to book a show at a local venue for years.
Every episode of the TV show is some completely chaotic plan to get a show at this venue that backfires in spectacularly funny ways. The movie is that energy but way more unhinged.
The coolest part is that it’s a time travel film using footage from their original web series from back in 2008.
It was so well done that the footage from 2025 fits seamlessly with the vintage footage even though there’s no way they knew they were going to do a movie like this back then.
I know this because during the live Q&A they mentioned they had filmed an entirely different movie with a totally different plot and ended up scrapping it to pivot to the time travel story that featured the old footage.
It’s an impressive feat of story writing and VFX that made the movie connect even more with already loyal fans.
Being in that crowd was like watching a movie with a room full of friends I had never met. The loud gasps of shock, the bursts of unexpected laughter which is still somehow all in sync, it’s like we’re a part of the experience too.
That is powerful storytelling.
It’s easy to forget how healing it is to be in a room full of joy that isn’t curated. Not a just a polite chuckle. Not a “heh” that’s funny exhale.
True unfiltered joy
The kind where you lose control of the volume of your voice out of excitement or your abs hurt from the belly laughs, where people start laughing at each other laughing, and it becomes this wave of delight that you can’t fight.
That’s home.
Not because everything is perfect, but because for a minute, we’re not micromanaging ourselves.
This makes me think how do we feel “at home” and do we have control over it?
I sometimes feel like I’ll never “fit in” when in reality, I’m the one responsible for fitting the pieces together.
Whose to say I don’t fit, I making the damn puzzle!
But maybe just by showing more of my true self, holding that door open for new people and places, I can gain that clarity of identity in return.
Like it will somehow wipe away the fog in a mirror and I can finally see the real me, and feel at home in my own skin.
I like to think we can find home in everyday places.
For years I’ve been dreaming about making a movie
About this exact concept.
Finding home in the people and places in life where you least expect it.
A tribute to the underrated miracle of someone recognizing you for you, even after you’ve changed.
Those friendships where you don’t have to audition for your role.
Where you can show up as the newest version of yourself and nobody acts like it’s a betrayal.
You’re not just welcomed.
You’re expected.
What I really want from creating this is to appreciate the people, places, and moments that feel like home. That by making this and sharing it with others, I could help people find home in their own lives.
Because who couldn’t do without a little more friendship, love, laughter, and belonging.
I want it to be a film about best friends who grow up together but then become long-distance in adulthood.
They manage to become closer as they age even when they’re not in the same place geographically (or emotionally) and only come together for the big events.
Their friendship fire is maintained over hours long video calls, snapchat streaks, weekly voice note updates and memes sent back and forth every day.
A period piece on modern friendship
You would watch the characters change over time, navigating family, trauma, careers, relationships, friendships, parenthood, aging and through all of that still recognize each other anyway.
By the end of the movie they are entirely different people than when they first met but also still the same.
Their friendship still the same even if at times it doesn’t seem like that.
Growing pains, you might say.
Because having friends that grow along with you regardless of what direction life takes, that is such a gift we often take for granted.
I imagine producing it like that series The Four Seasons if you’ve seen that? Where the movie pacing checks in with the main characters every few months/years so you can observe how their lives changed and how that influences the relationship dynamics.
Fun fact: the 2025 Netflix series by Tina Fey was inspired by a 1980s rom com that follows three couples who take vacations together every season. I haven’t seen the original but the format of these are so captivating to me.
My Tina Fey fangirling aside, the story that I have in mind I’ve been thinking about forever. My notes app is filled with scenes, themes, little lines of dialogue that I love inspired by conversations and experiences with my closest friends.
Recently I even started a playlist of songs I think I’d like to use in the score, it’s like I can fully see the footage playing in my mind. Lighting, framing, the whole nine yards.
Which is all good and fun but if I really want to make it happen some day I need to not only think on it, but talk about it too.
If I don’t talk about it, it stays in the notes app.
Like a secret I’m keeping from my own life.
So yeah, I think the movie idea is about this exact feeling, of home.
And the self-help junkie in me wants to turn this into
A mindfulness practice
I think I need to let myself just relax into this life I’ve worked so hard to build. And stop auditioning for a role nobody’s hiring for.
When I feel myself auditioning in everyday life, I’ll try to notice it without getting too annoyed at myself.
And in those rare moments when I feel more “me” and return to that relaxed feeling of “home”— where I’m not questioning my actions or if I’ll be accepted— I try to stay there at least a few seconds longer to soak it in.
Not even necessarily taking notes on who, where, and what is feeling home-y in the moment. Just trying to appreciate it without overthinking it.
Marinating in that miraculous feeling of being known.
What makes you feel “at home”?
Where do you feel expected? What places, people, food, memories or sensations make you feel seen?
I’d love to use your thoughts as writing inspo for this movie I want to make, so please let me know!
Alrighty my friend I will call again soon, sorry for the lack of marketing talk, but hey, maybe this has more to do with marketing than we think. Anyways, this is just what’s been on my mind lately and honestly…
Calling you in a way feels like returning to home.
So thank you for making me feel expected.
It means a lot 🥰
Oop! I gotta go, James and I are seeing Nirvanna The Band The Show The Movie in theaters for the second time, you seriously gotta see it!!
I will literally not shut up about this movie until everyone sees it.
It was really that good, 96% on rotten tomatoes if you need more convincing 🍅👀
I’ll stop now, talk soon okay? byeeeee!
Stuff to click on
AI Video Marketing Trends for 2026 — I contributed to this for work and I am happy to report that AI is a useful tool but not a creative director. People want to replace tedious time consuming tasks like manually typing captions on videos, not the humans behind the work. This was a fun challenge and I hope we captured the nuance of how creatives are approaching these tools in a realistic way. Let me know what you think if you read it, positive or constructive, I’m all ears 🌽
